Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I Hate The Phone

Well, that's not really 100% true. I love the phone when I'm trying to get a hold of someone, but then I go back to hating it when I have leave a message.

OK, so I'm sticking by my original statement: I hate the phone.

The problem with a phone call is that it's the same thing as randomly driving by someone's house to see if they're home. Sometimes they are, most of the time they're not.

So, then you leave a message. They call back. You're not home. They leave a message. You call back. They're not home, so you leave a message. And on, and on, and on, and on, and on it goes until finally, you both happen to be at there at the same moment, they are not screening calls, they don't have another call on hold, and you can actually talk.

Then you have nothing to say after 5 minutes.

So, you've wasted about 15-20 minutes playing phone tag - for a 5 minute conversation. Not terribly efficient.

But it gets worse.

At work, I'm usually multi-tasking and in deep concentration for most of the day. That is - until - you guessed it - someone calls. The thing that sucks about getting a call when you're trying to get something done - is the sheer immediacy of it. You must stop to answer the phone, then you have switch you mind completely out of what you're doing to focus on the questions/problems/suggestions of the person on the line. Then, after the call - no matter how short, you have to spend time trying to "get back into" whatever it was that you were doing before the call.

As soon as you're back "in the groove"... you get a call. I hate the phone.

You can't get away from the evil effects of the phone once you leave home or leave the office. This is why the evil corporations that rule the world have devised mobile phones. Now you can be annoyed 24/7 no matter where you are on earth. There IS such thing as an "off" switch on a mobile phone - and I use it often. BUT, just by carrying it (because after all, I may need to get a hold of someone NOW!) - I'm "quilted" into turning it on every now and then to see if have messages.

If I have no messages - I start to wonder why people don't call me more.

It's a sick plan by telcos to drive you slowly insane and whose next plan is undoubtedly a mobile phone chip implanted into your skull.

But it doesn't even stop there. You can become an innocent victim of the phone at your favorite retail establishment. Have you ever gone to the checkout at a department store (of COURSE there is only one person working and of COURSE there is a line of 10 people waiting) - when the $6 per hour, 19 year old, couldn't-grow-a-beard-if-he-had-to "associate" gets a phone call from a customer wanting to know if they have a certain piece of clothing in a certain size and certain color. What do they do? They leave the register and check!

Screwed by the phone yet again!

I hate the phone.

1 comment:

Deb Taylor said...

I never answer the phone and the following story will show why.
Moments ago, a friend called and started leaving a message. I picked up. She then proceeded to berate me that she'd gotten the impression she was calling into a coffin. I assured her that wasn't true. Next sentence, "I'll call you tomorrow morning, I don't have time to talk right now."

WHAT?! Why call then!
Yes - the interuption is keenly felt no matter the size or shape of a call. I wonder if the Dali Lama has a cell phone and whether his is turned "on" silent, vibrate, or a jingle.

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