Monday, October 02, 2006

Phonebooks! What the hell?

The phone company - or some of their undoubtedly under-paid minions - dropped off a load of phonebooks this morning. One for each phone line we have. 6 books. 5 inches and 20 pounds each.

There are enough dead trees in there to create 500 reams of "real" paper - not to mention the fact that now I have to find something to do with them (yes, I AM too damn lazy to just throw them out). Recycle? Nah, I'm not exactly a tree-hugger.

Hmmmm.. what to do? What do do? Inspiration!

Top 10 Things You Can Do With Phonebooks:
  1. Toss them over your balcony and listen for that sweet-sounding "thud" as it strikes an unwary pedestrian.

  2. Put them in front of your neighbor's door and let them deal with it.

  3. Place one each in the men's bathroom - there will always be something "new" to read.

  4. Give your shredder a REALLY good beating.

  5. Rip out random pages and broadcast fax to 100 of your closest friends.

  6. Tear out random white pages so you have some good phone numbers when you're drunk dialing.

  7. Take them with you when you go to the grocery store and leave them in the cart as a parting gift.

  8. Auction them on eBay.

  9. Makes a perfect "Arbor Day" gift.

  10. Rip out all the coupons and trade them for coupons you REALLY want (then put a gun in your mouth and kill yourself - you have no life)

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