Happy Mars Day

Well, today is Earth Day.

Yeah, I know. I don't really care either.

Don't get me wrong - I think that looking at ways to have less of an impact on the mother earth is a good thing. I think that we are smart enough now to start making a better start of renewable energy sources like solar, wind, etc. In fact, I just saw a show last night on the Discovery Channel that said that if we covered 10% of Nevada with solar panels, we would have enough energy for the entire United States!

Really, just 10%. What the hell is Nevada doing with all that land anyway? Answer: nothing!

Or, by a similar token, if we took the same small bit off of the east coast, we could use wind and wave power to do the same thing - light the entire US.

What the hell is the east coast doing off their shore anyway? Answer: nothing!

Still, I'm a realist. I don't see our oil-based economy changing overnight. I don't think that by 15,000 people buying a Prius we're going to close the gaping hole in the ozone layer.

I do think, however, that having gas at $4+ per gallon will make people strive harder for alternatives to gasoline. That's a good start. There are already version 1.0 all-electric vehicles coming to market with more on the way. There's talk of a plug-in Prius, and there's a guy in BFE that has come up with a way to get 100 mpg out of a Hummer!

Those are the types of things that will start the societal shift from gasoline - which is a big driving factor in the economy. Think about it - if gas goes up - everything else does too. Trucking gets more expensive, FedEx gets more expensive, air travel gets more expensive, everything goes up. Not to mention things like wars, international upheaval, and the threat of terror.

If we converted 80% of the personal vehicles (cars and trucks) to clean-burning, non-polluting electric power (or still have a small engine to improve range as a first step) - we would solve a lot of social and economic problems, and also get a cleaner Earth as a result.

I'm still confused why we're spending billions of dollars in a Space Station that doesn't work, for plans on how to colonize the moon, and for 2 dune buggy size probes on the face of Mars. Yet we do.

I know that scientists and space folk have a hard-on to colonize Mars (for some reason!) - and that's a good idea. But let's spend some brain power and financial muscle solving the problem of mass transit, pollution, overcrowded roads, etc. before trying to get people to live on a dead, desolate, uninhabitable planet.

If we're not more forward-thinking, that dead, desolate, uninhabitable planet could just be Earth.

Microgoogle Docs

Microsoft announced on Friday that they are launching a stripped-down version of their Office suite - code name - "Albany" to folks on a subscription basis. Subscribers get Microsoft Office Home and Student 2007, with Word, Excel, PowerPoint and OneNote, plus Windows Live OneCare, Windows Live Mail, Messenger and Photo Gallery.

Hmmm... so they can't get a browser-based version working - of even basic stuff like Google did - so now they figure you don't have the $120 to buy the student version of Office - so they're going to RENT it to you?

WTF?

I mean, I get the fact that they are trying to be all "relevant" in the new world. I also understand that they haven't found anyone to buy (yet) that has an online offering. I also know that Office sales are a HUGE part of their income, so they don't want to kill the fatted calf just yet.

They also like the idea of you paying them every month - for crap they're already shipping. In the software market it's called "incremental revenue." They've already tried it with OneCare (don't know how it's really selling, though), and with their Xbox Live franchise.

Seems like it's still putting lipstick on a pig, if you ask me.

What about pricing? Well, we dont' know yet. But if you take the street price of the Student Edition - which is $120, and you figure that there's a 5 year ownership window; then add the OneCare $49.95 price, divide by
60 months (5 years) and you get a whopping $2.83 per month.

So, if Microsoft rounds up and doubles it (just because they can) - would you really pay $5.99 per month for Office when you can get most of the same stuff from any number of vendors (Zoho, Google Docs, OpenOffice) for free?

Me neither.

MySQL: No soup for (some of) you!

When Sun bought MySQL for $1 billion - the open source database maker was struggling to make money. In a ComputerWorld interview in June 2007, former MySQL CEO Mårten Mickos said that "...only one in a thousand users ever pays.." for the software.

1 in 1,000? And you got $1 BILLION for your company? Yes, please!

Anyway - back to the story. Now that Sun owns it - I can picture them in a product marketing meeting thinking "hmmmm.... how can we make some money out of this widely-installed database?"

Then, the new guy, I'll call him "Tom", comes up with a brilliant idea, "Let's make the cool new features in our 5.1 release only available to those who have a paid license! The rest of the people using it for free - can either just wait for it - or can write their own version."

Applause all around. Problem solved. Until - their user conference this week in Santa Clara, California.

The "Community Edition" (free) users were all up in arms about Sun having "the nerve" to actually charge some money for a database (oh, the horror!).

Then the bloggers got a hold of it. In one post user Paul Saduauskas threatened to abandon MySQL in favor of Postgresql that he categorized as "fast enough." He was incensed that the free version and pay-for version would have a different feature set - and he wasn't alone.

Now, I can understand that if you're used to something being free (even though it's really not free, and most people who are using it SHOULD pay for it) - it can suck when you realize that you aren't getting the latest and greatest in the next release - just because you didn't pay for it in the first place.

Although, now due to the community and bloggers coming undone over the last 24 hours, Sun is now in full waffle mode on what they will finally do in the end.

However - I think Community users should just stop bitching about it and either dump MySQL for another free, open source database or pony up the inexpensive license money and shut the hell up.

People - how do you think Sun got the $1 billion to buy MySQL in the first place? Yep, it had to actually "sell" something to someone...

$499 Mac a Hoax?

So yesterday I wrote about a company that got a bunch of press because it was offering a $499 piece of hardware that would run Mac OS X.

I found it strange that on their store they weren't taking any order because they "couldn't process credit cards." So I went to the "contact" page and looked up their address on Google Maps. It looks like a residential neighborhood (address: 10475 NW 28th St,Doral, FL 33172)... but if you look on Zillow - there is nothing at that address.

Hmmmmm....

Maybe they're better at PR than they are at building hardware? Is it a hoax? Or worse, a fraud?

Another fishy thing - they don't take any phone orders - only orders on their website. The domain is registered to a guy (not the company itself) with the same phone numbers as on the "corporate" site - but the address is different (address: 3401 SW 104 CT, Miami, FL 33165). Again, it's an address that is based in a residential neighborhood. The domain was registered in 2000, though.

Now I was curious. So, since the name on the contact page was "PsyStar Corporation" - my next stop was the Secretary of Corporations for the State of Florida. I put in their name - BINGO - yet ANOTHER residential address (10645 SW 112 ST, MIAMI FL 33176). Looks like Roldolfo Pedraza (same name as domain registration) formed the corporation in July of 2007 - and, at least initially, was the initial officer/director along with someone named Roberto Pedraza.

While I was doing a little more digging - I decided to check out the EFI v8 emulator - the little bit of software that made it possible to load the OS X software on non-Apple hardware possible. Um, turns out the author of the software is more than slightly pissed off that they're using it - as it turns out there is a strict "not for commercial use" that is being violated.

Hmmmmm.....

And, for the most curious thing about the whole sordid affair - Apple is still mum. They haven't sued anyone yet! I mean, it's been almost 3 days!

Maybe they can't find them either...

Clone Wars Redux?

So the folks over at Psystar have come up with a piece of off-the-shelf Intel hardware that they claim will run Mac OS X.

For $499!

That's about $100 less than a Mac Mini. With twice the RAM, three times as big hard drive (compare). Hmmmm... so how did they do it? Magic - and software. The company claims that with some "minimal patching" users could install Mac OS X 10.5 on the system. "With the EFI V8 emulator it is possible to install Leopard's kernel straight from the DVD that you purchased at the Apple store barring the addition of a few drivers to ensure that everything boots and runs smoothly," according to the Psystar site.

Apparently, all the attention caught them off-guard as well - since the announcement on Tuesday, their server was down for most of the day. As of today - the site is up - but you're out of luck if you want to order because - according to their online store's homepage:

"Thank you for visiting Psystar. We're sorry but the store is temporarily down due to the fact that we are currently unable to process any credit card transactions.Please send an e-mail to support@psystar.com with the subject line "UPDATE" so that we can update you when the store comes back online. For customers who have already placed orders: if you received a confirmation e-mail then your item is in queue to be built and shipped."

Ummmm.... what? Store down because they can't process credit card transactions? Nice. Yeah, sign me up for one of those Mac clones...

If you're old (like me) - you'll remember the great Apple-sanctioned clones of 1995. Basically, Power Computing got the license for the Apple ROM, and so they were able to make it all work.

However, once Steve Jobs came back into power in July of 1997 - he bought Power Computing for $100 million in stock and quickly put the kibosh on all the clone maker's ROM licenses - effectively putting them all out of business. Nice.

There is even some question as to whether people can legally install Mac OS X on non-Apple hardware. The end user license agreement (EULA) says: "You agree not to install, use or run the Apple Software on any non-Apple-labeled computer, or to enable others to do so."

Hmmmm... If I were a betting man (and I am) - and I was an executive at Psystar (I'm not) - I would have my legal team on speed dial. You KNOW it's only a matter of days before Apple Thugs serve a cease and desist and then start applying the Full Monte legal cluster.

Should be fun to watch, though!

Googleforce

Hey, there's a new merger alliance in town: Salesforce.com + Google! Yep, the geeks at both companies have apparently been working hard to integrate Google Docs and Google Talk into the default Salesforce.com CRM install.

All in all it looks pretty cool. IF you like Google Docs.

We all bitch and complain about the fact that Word, Excel and PowerPoint are the definition of bloatware - and there are lots of people who bitch that Google Docs is an underpowered "toy."

Now, Google Docs is OK for a lot of folks who don't live and breath Excel Macros and advanced functions. These knowledge working are sometimes put down as "...just sales and marketing personnel..." - insinuating that they aren't "real" users.

I beg to differ.

It's "these people" that have driven the adoption of Salesforce to begin with. It's these people that also use Google Docs on a regular basis. Having the two integrated together is a terrific idea - and one that they have done a great job in making as seamless as possible (video).

Just as I can imagine SOHO users rejoicing, I can just hear the laments of enterprise IT folks. Most enterprise IT folks have been working for years to narrow the number of vendors they work with - just to keep their heads above water. They want to lock down all desktops, control every packet over the network, make sure that they have a hand in every single instance of real or imagined "security" breaches, etc.

Which is good. that's their job. However, I'm betting that they're going to whine about the Google integration (I believe they have the option of turning it off altogether) - and the horrors of having people store their data in the cloud that they can't control.

They may have a point. However, I think it's the sales and marketing pukes (read: real users) who are going to dictate what they will and won't put up with. They WILL drive adoption.

Hopefully, that will spur Google to enhance and fix their Docs offering... I mean, hey - Zoho has a much more robust suite of (also free) of online applications. You would think that Google would take their online Docs products more seriously, now that they have a higher rate of adoption.

Google: ENOUGH with the "Beta" tag on Docs already! People use it. People are coming rely on it. And, oh yeah, another company is banking on that functionality for THEIR customers. Suspend the free gourmet meals for your entire campus for 3 days and you can pay for 100+ engineers to finish up and fix the damn thing already.

The Hacker In The Mirror

For me, the word "hacker" conjures up visions of pimple-faced kids in a cold state somewhere - toiling away with "cool hacks" in their parent's basement - or nefarious underworld thugs in 3rd world countries trying to spam, steal and worm their way into stealing people's identities.

Take a look at what "hacker" actually means (from the American Heritage Dictionary):

1. One who is proficient at using or programming a computer; a computer buff.
2. One who uses programming skills to gain illegal access to a computer network or file.
3. One who enthusiastically pursues a game or sport: a weekend tennis hacker.
4. [Perhaps from hacker, amateurish or inept golfer or tennis player (possibly from hack), or perhaps from hack, practical joke, clever scheme (from dialectal hack, to embarrass, confuse, play a trick on).]

Although these are good - I have one of my own: A person who enjoys exploring the details of something and knows how (or learns how) to tweak and stretch their capabilities, as opposed to most users, who prefer to learn only the minimum necessary.

If you look at it from that point of view - I'm definitely a hacker - and you probably are too.

I just happen to be in the software business - but anyone can hack anything. You can hack the freeway system by taking side streets, hack the boarding line by faking an injury, hack the check-in luggage cluster by shipping your bags overnight, etc.

Most of us use a computer most of every working day (some crazy people like me also use it in their off time as well!). Most of us use software - some good and some bad - most of every working day.

Because software was created by man, it is inherently flawed. There is no "perfect" software package. Either it does 80% of what we need 90% of the time, or it just plain "sucks" but we're forced to use it for reasons outside of our control.

I was talking to a customer that had the same problem. They were using Microsoft Dynamics - which they have used for years and years before Microsoft bought it. The accounting people were happy. The salespeople would rather poke their eyes out than try to price out custom configurations of their products (which is about 90% of their business).

The problem was that in Dynamics, they had room for the specs and a price to charge the customer, but they had all these business rules and pricing and costs that needed to be taken into consideration.

So they did what any other hacker would do - they had created souped up Excel files, flat file databases, and all kinds of other tools that would help them get the configuration - and thus the cost and price correct. But it's not really hacking the system, because this data wasn't shared and everyone had their own way of doing it (very successfully, btw).

Then, the true hacker showed up. This person suggested that they write their complicated business logic and configuration rules in some software that everyone could share, then link that to the Dynamics system and read/write the data they needed there - rather than having to hand-code everything. Oh yeah, and each Dynamics seat was $5,000 - so they did "rounds" of data entry to share a named user.

Answer: Servoy. They got hooked up with a consulting group they had a relationship with - and proceeded to write a completely customer configuration editor that would give costs in realtime, and then when the client said "yes" - they literally pushed a button and the invoice came out of Dynamics. They were also able to steer the customer during the configuration and view realtime inventory (coming from Dynamics) and make substitutions or tell the customer what the status of an order was, or get a firm delivery date based on when the materials were coming in.

They learned that the answer isn't necessarily to throw out what isn't working - but rather - hack the system to meet the disparate needs of everyone in the organization.

So let your inner-hacker, fire up a copy of Servoy and see what you can hack today...

Yahoo Going AwOL?

Yahoo and Time Warner are said to be "closing in" on a deal that would merge Yahoo with AOL.

AOL! Really, I'm not making this up.

The word is that Yahoo would get some cash from Time Warner as well as a 20 percent stake in the combined company (minus the crappy dial-up business - it's worth an estimated $10 billion).

But wait! There's more!

At the same time ol' Jerry is reported to be in talks with... wait for it... Google. Apparently Yahoo finally got the idea that maybe - just maybe - Google was better at handling the search advertising - so they are looking to outsource it to the multi-colored-logo 800 pound gorilla.

But wait! There's still MORE!

The New York Times reported that Microsoft and Rupert Murdoch's News Corp are in negotiations on making a joint bid for Yahoo. That merger would join Yahoo, Microsoft Corp's MSN and News Corp's MySpace, the paper said.

Wow.

Of course talking about doing a deal and doing a deal are two different things - but jeez! So... I guess Jerry Wang really, really, really, REALLY doesn't want to dance with Steve Ballmer!

PaaS Gets The Google Touch

It seems that even Google is getting the PaaS (Platform as a Service) religion. At their Campfire One "get together" Google announced an "early technology preview" of a new service they're calling the Google App Engine.

The idea is that Google has determined (like Force from Salesforce.com and Elastic Cloud Computing from Amazon) - that the so-called "last mile of service" - actually getting your application up and running somewhere on the web - can be a challenge.

They've set out to allow developers to get an application up on the web and running - and then scale it up to almost infinite capability - seamlessly and for free (for now). The platform will be limited to running applications in Python (WTF?), and they go out of their way to stress that they are not providing a virtual server or virtual instance of a machine, but rather, they are hosting the developer's application (only).

It comes with 500MB of persistent storage and enough CPU and bandwidth for about 5 million page views a month. For free. For now.

Although they also stress it is not "feature complete" and it's still in development, AND there is no word on what the actual pricing will be once it's out of development, AND they're limiting this preview to the first 10,000 lucky developers to sign up... it's still a very interesting development.

It seems that in the emerging world of the integrated stack (aka PaaS) I think we're going to see LOTS more announcements and competing platforms and standards in order to gain the most developer eyeballs.

Speaking of developers - it just seems to me that Google is slowly becoming the new Microsoft. That is, it has your mail (free), your Office-like apps (free), searching (free), image archive (free), and now also wants to host your applications.

This could be a bug or a feature, depending on how you look at it.

BUG: For all the privacy, head-in-the-ground-scardy-cat-types - it's "big brother." It also smacks of what Microsoft has been doing for years - locking developers into a proprietary integrated stack that is almost impossible to get out of - without completely re-writing all applications ever developed.

FEATURE: If you're a small Web 2.0 company that is looking to get bought by Google (and be honest - who isn't?) - then what better way to have Google become aware of your application and your company and your sustained pageviews - than to host it on Google's own infrastructure? I can almost hear the wide-eyed-we're-going-to-be-rich gear heads coding now...

For the gory details - check out the six (6) videos and the technical specs after the break...

Yaw Who?

Today Microsoft gave Yahoo an ultimatum with regard to their offer...

Ooooooh.... who couldn't see this one coming a mile away? I mean, it's so atypical for Microsoft... NOT.

When you have a "friendly" suitor that uses this kind of language when they're in "friendly mode" - just imagine what fun it will be when they're pissed off:

Steve Ballmer: "If we have not concluded an agreement within the next three weeks, we will be compelled to take our case directly to your shareholders, including the initiation of a proxy contest to elect an alternative slate of directors for the Yahoo board."

Nice.

Now for the threat (also from Steve Ballmer): "If we are forced to take an offer directly to your shareholders, that action will have an undesirable impact on the value of your company from our perspective, which will be reflected in the terms of our proposal."

Also nice and friendly.

Not to be undone, Jerry Wang, CEO of Yahoo responded in a strongly worded press release:

Jerry Wang: "We regret to say that your letter mischaracterizes the nature of our discussions with you. We have had constructive conversations together regarding a variety of topics, including integration and regulatory issues. Your comment that we have refused to enter into negotiations to conclude an agreement are particularly curious given we have already rejected your initial proposal, nominally $31 per share at the time, for substantially undervaluing Yahoo! and your suggestions in your letter and the media that you are considering lowering the value of your proposal. Moreover, Steve, you personally attended two of these meetings and could have advanced discussions in any way you saw fit."

My take is Jerry saying: "Nuh-uh! It's not fair. But if you give us more money, we will like you."

Ummmm... no disrespect to Mr. Wang - but in general, what Microsoft wants, Microsoft gets. It'll be interesting to see what happens - but my guess is that if a proxy battle doesn't give it to Microsoft, either they will up the offer or just proceed to crush them into a fine powder in the marketplace.

More On PaaS - TMA Systems

Yesterday I posted about how PaaS (Platform as a Service) was the new and upcoming way that companies were going to cut down on their infrastructure costs.

Well, I'm here at the TMA User Conference in Tulsa, OK and I can tell you first hand that PaaS is being implemented at not just the infrastructure level, but at the development level as well. In this press release Servoy and TMA announced that they were partnering to provide their customers with a new technology base for their CMMS (Computerized Maintenance Management Systems) system.

Now the interesting thing about Servoy as a platform versus more highly integrated (read: proprietary) systems like force.com is that Servoy gives you, the customer, the choice on how you want to deploy your SaaS solution.

There are a couple of extremes in PaaS:

• Configure it yourself from scratch and have at it (like Amazon's EC3 service)
• Use force.com and their proprietary Apex development environment
• Use Servoy and have a choice of deployment models

Servoy gives you a choice of how you can deploy your solution: on your own internal server, on "traditional" ISP, on a PaaS server, or ANY combination thereof.

Your development platform matters as much as your deployment method. If you have tools that easily allow you to do both - you'll be that much more ahead of the game.

PaaS The SaaS Please

Unlike most bloggers, I'm not going to write some kind of crazy story and then at the end say "April Fool's!"

No, being the serious blogger that I am, I'm going instead to talk a little about the emerging PaaS (Platform as a Service) movement especially in the SaaS (Software as a Service) world.

Sounds fun, huh? Bear with me for a minute...

PaaS is a relatively new term coined by Salesforce.com and their "force.com" platform offering. Although Amazon has been offering it for a lot longer with their elastic cloud (EC3) and virtual storage (S3) services - it's a term that's becoming equated with the concept of push-button infrastructure.

It's an appealing concept - you specify a configuration, push a button, and somewhere in the goey gob of the Internet a server is configured for you - and you're all set to go. You're charged by the type of machine you configure and your actual useage (usually by the hour + a small bandwith fee). You can (on most services) also scale up your hardware instantly by just adding more similarly configured servers - all via a browser interface.

If you're an ISV - this is an especially appealing prospect over the "traditional" hosting options that either tie you into a shared server or require that you buy and configure your own box to be "parked" at a host's connection.

In theory, if you're providing a SaaS solution (rented over the Internet rather than having it installed on-premises) - scalability is a good thing. Instant added bandwidth is a good thing. Predictable cost structure is a good thing.

Is there a downside? Ummmm... not that I can see.

You still have the flexibility of backing your database up locally - or even better - to another cloud-based server - so you (and your customers') data is protected. Probably better protected than if you set up your own server and have to manage it.

In a world of "give it to me NOW" and in the face of the ever-increasing speed of business - PaaS is going to be a bigger and bigger part of the SaaS landscape.

Spring Break (With Kids)

Ah the heady times of Spring Break. The crazy roadtrips, going to Mexico, waking up face-down in some back alley or a in a place you don't remember going to. Those were the days.

It's kind of like that when you have kids out on Spring Break - only not.

My kids just turned 8 this week - and we wanted to take a couple of days off work and go to the beach with them. We would "normally" go and camp (yes, I did say CAMP) at Carpinteria, CA... but, to tell the truth, I'm sort of "over" camping.

As you can read from previous posts, camping has sort of lost its luster. I mean, I still enjoy it every once-in-awhile, but if I had my choice - I'd "camp" in a nice hotel with running hot water and room service.

So, this year, my wife Brenda, was paging through Sunset Magazine and came across a place called Crystal Cove, located in the upscale Newport Beach area just up the California coast. She read the story of the Crystal Cove Beach Cottages and explained to me that they were right on the beach and it was going to be "like camping" - only with 4 walls and a shower.

At last! "True" camping!

We were in unit 19A - and I checked the website... and well, it was a bit "rustic" for my taste - but I figured it beat the hell out of 4 people in a tent with leaky air mattresses. The only part that really didn't register at the time was the "State Park" portion of located in "Crystal Cove State Park."

So - we did the default - pack too many clothes we would never wear, pack up stuff we wouldn't get around to using - and then add about 40% more crap for good measure - and head out.

Armed with the latest Google/Reserve America directions - we got to the end our journey a short 2 hours later - no where NEAR Crystal Cove. Yep, wrong directions. Luckily, we came prepared with our trusty Thomas Guide, and after a short 5 mile detour, we found the Park.

Then, things got confusing.

It seems that the Park has all this land - but they chose to put the parking in such a way that you have to drive in, park, register, be taken by golf cart to the cottage, unload, golf cart back to the parking lot, then drive about a mile and cross the street to park.

I'm sure it sounded good in the planning meeting.

Anyway - the cottage was "interesting." The description on the website:

"Savor the spectacular views from one of four decks in this beachfront cottage dating to 1931.

Guests in this large unit overlooking the beach will enjoy a spacious living/dining room with high ceilings, a sofa bed, two sleeper ottomans and a door to the front porch, a tiled kitchen with ample storage space, a bedroom with two twin beds, and an ocean view bedroom with a full bed."

Although it's technically correct - was taking a few liberties. I would describe it as "quaint" and "rustic." It did have a tiled kitchen with a full-size refrigerator and a microwave (both new). However, there was no stove and no barbecue (you can bring your own propane one - but that's the ONLY thing we didn't bring). The "tiled kitchen" was done by a drunk, one eyed Greek, but the rooms were a decent size, the bedding was soft, and the view kicked some serious ass.

Think "quaint" and "rustic."

The location, though - WOW. Seriously, you can't get any better than RIGHT on the beach. The front and side porches were literally 3 feet from the sand, and we were up on the upper level with a simply stunning view.

Of course, the kids leaped out into the sand and I decided to go to the store for provisions. I hiked it back to the car, and found that there was a Trader Joe's only 1 mile down the road. Being as we were in Newport beach the Trader Joe's was next to a Williams Sonoma, Cartier Watch place, 4 fabulous restaurants, etc.

Ah, camping!

I packed some bread, cheese, meat, wine, chips into two very, very, very precisely packed bags (for the long haul back to the cottage) - and off I went. When I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed something that I hadn't noticed before - a shuttle! For $1 it would take you all the way back down the hill (or UP the hill!) and drop you off 50 feet from the cottages. YES!

Once I made it back and we pried the kids away from the back and back to the cottage - it was dark. We hosed the kids off, and went to the only restaurant the Beachcomber - that was about 50 feet from our cottage. Bob's recommendation: skip it. Over-priced, crowded, boring food, slow service - PERFECT when you have tired, starving kids.

Let's just say we did pizza the next night. We literally just spent the day on the beach, the kids in the 58 degree water with their Boogie Boards. We took walks to the tidepools, played cards (there is no TV, no clocks), did crafts, read books, and just relaxed.

Of course, no stay in a State Park would be complete without some kind of bureaucratic hijinks. When I got the car on the way out - I also had an $88 parking ticket - even though I had carefully put my parking pass so that it was visible on the dashboard. At checkout I mentioned my dilemma - and was informed that "we don't have anything to do with that - it's the State." Turns out that the check-in person wrote the wrong date on my pass - and that I'll have to fight it out with Sacramento to get the ticket fixed... but that was the only hiccup in the trip.

I'm actually looking forward to "camping" again soon...

iRoadmap 2.0

Unless you were under a rock - you know that last week Apple unveiled its roadmap for the iPhone. Steve and the crew talked about the new iPhone 2.0 software and its new "Enterprise" capability to synch with Exchange Server, ability to be wiped and secured remotely, etc.

Oh yeah, and something about a SDK for 3rd parties.

They trotted some Apple geeks out, as well as some non-Apple types that had never developed for the Apple platform and showed some really cool native games (no joysticks, just moving the phone interacted with the game!), a boring Salesforce.com "integration" thingie, and another boring "Hello World" example.

Did I mention the cool games?

They also did a walk-through on how "easy" it will be to develop applications... in JUNE... when they ship the SDK that was promised for February. Oh yeah, and if you don't happen to have a Mac - "No soup for you!"

Yeah, their dev environment (and iPhone emulator) will only work on a Mac. OK, I get the fact that Steve wants to sell some more Macs, and I get the fact that the internal guys developed the iPhone software on PCs - I mean, Macs.

But no Windows emulator? No way for Linux geeks to get their hack on?

This is extremely short-sighted of them (again). Just when it looked like Apple had the opportunity to really become a force in anything but iPods, they slam the door shut and pull a Microsoft.

They started off so well. iTunes for Windows ("Hell Freezes Over"), going with Intel-based hardware, having the ability to synch to Exchange, coming up with the iPhone (although it needs some more "standard" features before I'll buy one)... now to pull back and make the SDK Mac-only - and have the programming language be Xcode?

Riiiiiiiight. Good move, Steve.

Oh don't worry, all those Android-based phones coming out in June? The ones based on Linux and the one that allow you to program in real languages? The ones that have a cool touch screen, camera, integrated software keyboard, expandable memory, a battery you can change, GPS, 3G out of the box?

Yeah, THOSE Android phones. I think they're going to be the phones "for the rest of us"...

The 5 Things I Learned From Snow

This weekend my baby brother, Eric, and his new bride invited my family up to Mammoth for the weekend - along with some of his new in-laws. The company he works for, DPR Construction, very generously allows some executives the use of a fabulous rental home at no charge. This was our third trip up there together - and we always have a total blast.

Because it's about 6 hours from home - when the kids were younger - we would drive about 2/3 of the way up and stay at an "upscale" hotel in the middle of BFE and then continue the final two hours the next morning. This trip was no different.

No head lice, free sugar-laden breakfast. So far, so good.

LESSON 1: Drive straight through.

As we passed through the last big outpost on the trek (Bishop) - we realized that it might, perhaps, be a good idea to stop by an establishment and see if they had more hardy, snow-repelling shoes for my son. Mind you - this is in addition to the new snow pants, shirts, socks, long underwear, hats and gloves that we purchased before leaving.

"Luckily" we found a HellMart just outside of town. After about 2 hours, 1 shopping cart full of crap, and a couple of hundred bucks - we are finally on our way again.

LESSON 2: Let the kids go barefoot and naked in the snow.

The weather was absolutely beautiful. It was warm, sunny, and the mountain just received 15 inches of new snow a few days before. It was really beautiful. Just before you get to the turn off for Mammoth, there is an old, famous place called "Tom's Place" where there is supposed to be some great sledding opportunities.

Since we had never been there - we decided to give it a whirl. I followed the signs for a "sno-park" - and after driving for 6 miles up a 1 lane road (the scenery was awesome!) - we arrived. At a sign that said "ROAD CLOSED". Being the ever intrepid explorers that we are, we decided to park and head out to the great outdoors. 20 minutes of changing into snow gear later - we grabbed the plastic dishes and headed up the snow-covered road.

After 200 yards - we were done. The 8,000 foot elevation had taken its toll - and then I had the "great" idea to just slide down the road. We did. It was a BLAST.

LESSON 3: Sometimes the best present IS an empty box.

We got our wet, tired butts back into the car - and headed back to Tom's Place. As we got there - we realized that the sledding place was actually right next to the road and we had inadvertently traveled into the State Park. Oh well, no harm, no foul.

We ate at this "rustic" Tom's Place Cafe (with attached bar). This place was... ummm... "charming." It had all the things you want in a kid-friendly environment - like a stuffed deer's ass above the kitchen, various "informative" signs touting friendly service slogans, provocative beer posters - but hey - FREE crayons and coloring books!

We arrived safe and sound at the "cabin" - a 5 bedroom, 3 bath, multi-story, multi-million dollar little hideaway about 1 block from the chair lift. Needless to say, the 2 plasma TV's, fireplaces, gourmet kitchen and wrap-around decks were, according to my kids "pretty cool."

Um, yeah. "Pretty cool!" Amidst all the creature comforts, Xbox, satellite TV, 46 board games, 12 puzzles and an entire library of books - my kids wanted to do only one thing: go outside on the driveway and play in the snow.

So we did. It was awesome!

LESSON 4: In a snowball fight - 8 year olds will win - every time.
LESSON 4a: Snow in the eye can hurt.

My new sister-in-law's family members were a real hoot! They are all gourmet cooks - and we took turns making meals and just hanging out. We stayed up late playing cards, drinking wine, playing Guitar hero ("little Joe" - you absolutely ROCK), drinking wine, playing Pictionary (my wife Brenda is still the best person EVER at this game), drinking wine, eating, drinking wine, etc.

On Saturday (the big ski day - and the day the kids were going to ski school) - Mother Nature really kicked some serious ass. It was about 28 degrees but with a 60 mile per hour wind. We were so determined to get the kids in ski school - that we braved the elements and went to the lift a block away.

When we got there - everyone (even the hard-core ski folks) were leaving. It was just too cold, and too windy to enjoy the day outside. So, we did what any self-respecting, cabin-bound group of frontier explorers who are caught a wintery storm would do: we played cards, drank beer, played games, drank beer, played Guitar Hero (MUCH more fun after beer!), had dinner, drank wine, talked, drank wine, played games, drank wine and hit the sack.

LESSON 5: Liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before liquor, never sicker.

Before we knew it - the weekend was over. So we re-packed the 450 boxes, bags and suitcases and headed back "down the mountain" home again. Our annual pilgrimage to the snow was a complete success.

And, I learned a few things along the way...