Non MS OSes Gaining Ground

In order to celebrate my 300th blog entry - I decided to revert to one of my favorite topics: slamming Microsoft... and predicting the demise of this (truly) evil empire.

In what is just the latest in a long history of time-sucking, headache-inducing, blood-pressure-raising events - I stupidly set the auto-update of my parent's aging Dell (XP Professional) to on.

When it decided to do an SP3 update - it hosed the boot block of the hard drive. So, I used the recover CD to "repair" the install, issue a DOS "fixboot" and "chkdsk" commands - and go it to book back into windows.

The BAD news is that as soon as one of the profiles is clicked on - the installation script - in its infinite wisdom and desire to "help" - promptly resumed where it left off and proceeded to hose the boot block again.

The end result is that my parents have a useless computer - with outdated backups, and now I need to spend the better part of 2 days doing a full wipe/install/update.

THANKS Microsoft! Awesome QA!

Yes, I know - just because I'm pissed off about having to restore yet ANOTHER install of Windows (I've done it on my own machines countless times) - I'm really at the point of turning Windows into my occasionally-used-for-testing-only operating system.

I'm just sick of it. Sick of the 10 minute boot time, sick of the endless patches, sick of Service Packs that render printers useless, sick of the bloat, just sick of the OS, period.

So, I did a little looking around the Internet - and I'm seeing that there are LOTS more people just as fed up as I am - AND they're voting with their dollars.

People are into "mobile" and anything "small" and "portable."

I mean, really - when was the last time you bought a "desktop" computer? Sure, there are uses for dedicated desktop boxes for things like video-editing, music composing, hard-core software development, etc.

But, in the main, people are buying laptops - and now, netbooks.

Ah, netbooks. Netbooks are the new Model T - but they come in more colors than just black. And with more than one choice in processors. And with more than one choice of operating system.

These (usually) sub-$500 machines come with solid state 128MB hard drives, 1-2 GB of RAM, a VGA-out port (ok, ok, so the 1024 x 768 resolution sucks), a battery that lasts between 5 and 9 hours and an operating system that can be Windows XP, Ubuntu, and now - TA DA - Android (for less than $300!).

The combination of the price point, the capabilities and the fact that most people use their computers to surf the web, check email, do some word processing and spreadsheets - oh, and play games - and viola! It's huge hit in the making.

"Sure, sure", you're saying - "but that's just on the consumer side. Everyone knows that consumers will jump at anything that's inexpensive and shiny."

That's true - but these consumers WILL buy and adopt - and that WILL force corporate IT (and web designers, and major company webmasters) to sit up and take notice. Ever hear of the iPhone? Look what a profound change has (is) occurring because of it... sits have dedicated iPhone "versions" of their sites, IT has been forced to make MS Exchange work nice, and IT - at the end of the day - has had to bow to the mighty forces of "cool" and "useful" over their (in some cases) strenuous objections.

"Well, OK" - you concede. "But Windows is more than just a consumer OS - it's what powers more than half of all the back end servers in the world."

Yep - for sure. However, Linux is no slouch with almost 1 in 3 computers using that OS for their back end servers. Linux, in its various distributions and forms, has been battle-tested and has been proven in the real world over time. Linux isn't going away any time soon.

Sure, it won't displace Windows Server in the near term - but I think the adoption rates will flip-flop as more and more consumers get used to non-Windows devices. As consumers drive the adoption of more non-Windows devices and as more IT folks get used to supporting non-Windows devices - it's only logical that IT's adoption of non-Windows devices will increase as well.

Will the "winner" be Android? Or Oracle's Solaris? Or Ubuntu? Or Red Hat? Or some new operating system not invented yet? Dunno... all I know is - the sooner the better!

Microblog: The New Sun's Oracle

Oh man... Larry Ellison just bought Sun.

Zoinks!

Well, if it's one thing Oracle knows how to do - that's monetize their software assets. He gets to kill off MySQL and "own" Java all in one fell swoop - for about the price that's a steal - $5.9 billion.

What will happen to MySQL and Java and Solaris and JavaFX and all the other Intellectual Property of Sun? Only Larry knows for sure... but I bet there are some people in Aramonk, New York that are absolutely kicking themselves that they didn't take a man pill and try harder to secure the Sun acquisition.

Now IBM is in the delicate position of having their #1 rival own the language (Java) that it has based it's whole company and infrastructure on... NICE!

Will this mean an end to MySQL?

Will Oracle start demanding some kind of licensing for Java?

Will they splinter the Java core into their own "brand" of Java?

Now that Oracle's in the hardware business - what does that mean for customers? For HP? For IBM?

It's sure going to be Mr. Toad's wild ride as Oracle assimilates the company... wow! My hat's off to Mr. Ellison - you've really pulled off a shocker!

Open Letter to Assh*** Credit Companies

Dear ___________ (fill in assh*** credit company or bank here),

I have had an account with you for the past ___ years. I've made 99.9% of my payments on time, and have paid at least double the minimum amounts - even when times were tough. In many cases, I have paid off the balances in full three or four times - and you've increased my credit line on 6 different occasions - in response to my 'excellent' record of payments and my credit worthiness.

I just received your letter in the mail informing me that you have now cut my credit limit by 50-80% because I didn't max out my credit limit. This "excess credit" - and thus the definition of "credit" - is there for when (if) I need it - and it's something that has taken me years of hard work to create, build and maintain.

Now, I appreciate the fact that my credit is a potential liability for your company. But, since I'm a taxpayer, and now a majority shareholder in your company - I want my credit line restored.

I know that you have a "super cool" computer algorithm that goes through all your accounts and looks for any possible reason (or none at all) to reduce your liabilities and that absolutely zero human review takes place before you ruthlessly destroy faith in your company and the loyalty of long time customers.

However, I would respectfully suggest that you add two more factors into your obviously flawed algorithm: a) the lifetime value of me as a customer; and b) the number of years I've been doing business with you.

I have been worth tens of thousands of dollars to you in terms of interest payments over the last ____ years - and it just seems to me that it's really not very sound business practice to completely screw over the people that have consistently paid you tons of cash over many years. But hey, that's just me.

Since you place absolutely ZERO worth on our business history, and you don't give a rat's ass about the money I've paid you over the years - I have really good news!

When this recession fades (and it WILL) - I will pay off your balance in full - and then I will close my account (as you might expect).

However, the one thing you should also know is that under zero circumstances will I EVER do business with you or any of your affiliated companies again as long as I live. Not only that - but I will go to great lengths to vocally discourage all of my family, friends, co-workers, business associates, church members, civic groups, and anyone else I come in contact with to do the same.

You may have screwed me over successfully - but you have no idea who I know (and who they know) - and therefore, you have no idea how I can affect your bottom line when things turn around.

So, congratulations! Along with tossing me aside like a piece of sh*t - you've also just flushed all of the time and money you've spent in successfully marketing to me as well as all the goodwill your brand as created over the past 15 years - and you've managed to do it in one, single, 12 sentence letter.

Sincerely,

Bob Cusick

Microblog: So Long Solaris!

Well, it's not a totally "done deal", but IBM is still looking to acquire Sun. If they do - it'll be interesting to see what happens to Sun's operating system: Solaris.

My guess = c ya! IBM already controls 37% of the high-end Unix market. Guess who is #2? Yep, Sun - with 28%.

Hmmmm.... nice. Buy 'em, kill Solaris... and nearly double your Unix marketshare overnight. Sweet!

Sun's shares were in the $5 range - making its market cap about $3.6 billion (don't get me started on why the hell they bought MySQL for $1 billion!) - and IBM is offering a 100% premium of $10 per share.

So - for only about $6.5 billion IBM can basically kill the #2 competitor. Oh yeah, they could also sell off Sun's hardware stuff - and probably recoup around $1 billion or so.

AND, if you act right NOW- you'll also get Java for no additional cost - we'll even pay shipping and handling! IBM is ALL about Java. Hopefully, if the buyout is successful, they'll FINALLY put some resources into updating the thing (it's LONG overdue!).

Google Is The Next Linux Desktop

Since HP announced that it was "thinking about" using Android as the operating system for its new netbooks, and since both Asus and Freescale have also announced plans to do so - I got to thinking about Linux on the desktop.

It's been the "holy grail" of Linux to find a home on the desktop as a real, viable alternative to Windows. However it's taken many, many years and there is still a lot of "competition" among the various Linux distributions as to who is best for the desktop user.

The current reigning champion in the desktop Linux world is Ubuntu - and it's been embraced by Dell and HP in various combinations and configurations for some time. HP even went so far as to write their own user interface for Ubuntu (be THAT was fun!).

Now, I really like Ubuntu - and I've installed it and have used it (at the GUI level - not at the command-prompt level) and it's pretty cool. It does take some getting used to - it's like switching to OpenOffice from MS Office. The features are "similar" and the paradigms are "similar" - but there are enough differences to where there is a slight learning curve.

The problem with Ubuntu is not the distribution. It's not the still somewhat lacking UI, it's not the limited number of applications (that part is improving in general). The reason that Ubuntu hasn't become the "real" alternative to Windows is the fact that Canonical, Ubuntu's developer, hasn't beat the consumer drum and put out a really slick GUI that people will love.

They haven't spent the marketing millions that it would require to drive "pull" adoption (people asking for it). They really don' t have the industry muscle to drive wide adoption.

However, there IS one company that has all those things and more: Google. Yep, ever since Android first appeared (and the collective groan about yet another mobile operating system rang out) - both developers and consumers have been interested in seeing if the search giant could bring to an operating system the "coolness" and simplicity it had to search.

It wasn't long after the first Google mobile phones shipped that some smart folks got the OS to run on a netbook - instead of just a phone. The netbook, just like a phone - uses the Atom processor - rather than an x86 processor found in "regular" computers. These little powerhouses sip the power and don't heat up to microwave-hot temperatures like the other chips do.

So, we have the brewing of a perfect storm: an operating system based on the free, open-source Linux kernel; a huge, international company with a huge consumer and business base of customers; a huge, international company with extremely deep pockets to spend on marketing (not to mention that 1 in 3 people who use the web visit their site EVERY DAY); brand-name hardware manufacturers who want to leverage Google's brand to move inexpensive hardware.

To be sure, there are other operating systems that might have a run - the WebOS by Palm (not likely), the Symbian OS (could be interesting - but it's years away) - or maybe even Ubuntu itself (but not until it runs on a phone!).

But, given Google's track record to try things; and the fact it's already invested a huge sum to make Android work on phones; and given the fact that iPhone users are turning into Mac users at a record rate... they could be on to something.

I'm WORKING Here, People!

First of all - many thanks to all of you who have emailed and called and IM'd and social media'd me about the fact that you miss the regular updates to Bob's World! It's nice to know that people actually read this thing. :-)

And, I do apologize for being a total slacker for the last couple of weeks... BUT - since I've restarted Clickware I've been switching hats so often that I'm getting tennis elbow.

That's one thing that I totally forgot about - when you're (re)starting a venture YOU are where the buck stops. Literally. As in: "If you don't do some work/promotion/billing/marketing/sales/support/follow up today - you won't get paid tomorrow."

I got spoiled when I was working for Servoy I had a terrific staff who all kicked-ass and were experts in their own fields. This allowed me the luxury of actually running the US Operations and update the social media, blogs, talk to analysts, write articles, do product plans, explore new concepts, make videos, etc.

Now, I still need to do all of those things - but I have to do all the other functions as well... and frankly, with that whole "there's only 24 hours in a day" thing, it's tough to do. If it were up to me - I would officially make each day at least 36 hours long - so at least I could get caught up in the span of a couple of weeks.

But, alas, I can't alter the space/time continuum - so I started to take my own advice. You see, I wrote a white paper a while ago called "How To Get Stuff Done" (you can get it here) - and you know, it really does help!

There are so many things that "should" be done - but very few that "need" to be done. I'm finding if I just start with those things that need to be done (and not all the "fun" projects that tend to suck time like a 5 year old drinking chocolate milk) - and then also apply the appropriate "filter" - I can actually get things OFF my "to do" list.

This blog is one of the things that I "should" do - but also one I "need" to do as well. I'll try to keep it updated a few times a week... so DO check back - and please DO keep those cards, letters, emails and comments coming!

The Future: Less IS More

After taking this week "off" from my social media commitments - I jumped back (literally) into the "stream" of the social collective this morning.

Now, those of you who know me know that I'm not the most "social" person out there - and that at the beginning of this wave of social media - I was skeptical (at best). But after being "out of the loop" for a week - I found that I actually missed the time-sucking, endless noise filtering and discovery of hidden gems in my social networks.

Really.

Just due to the sheer number of posts and the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day and the fact that I actually need to do "work" as well - I'm finding that the thing I long for is not *less* information - but information that is categorized in the way that's important to me.

For example, I have limited my followings on Twitter to people that say stuff that I find interesting. Now, I'm only following 76 people - but damn Spanky - some of those folks Tweet in real time. Some of the time it's interesting, and some of the time it's just plain annoying to have (literally) 100+ tweets by ONE person a day.

Even if I could process 7,600 tweets per day (100 tweets * 76 people) - there's no way I actually could. I mean, seriously, can you process 500 of ANYTHING in a single day?

That's just one outlet - Twitter. Then there's Facebook. I have a fair number of friends - a lot of whom are really interesting people - and I make every effort to read their status updates and sometimes the links and videos they post. And, more times than not, they have great things to day.

Then there's the "real time" communications - instant messaging via AIM, GoogleTalk, MSN (yeah, I know!), ICQ, and Skype... these generally are the communications that take the place of a phone call. I typically have 3-20 conversations a day (some are really short) to ping friends, colleagues and customers.

Then, there's Skype, my land line phone and my mobile phone. Oh, and then I check my Gmail, email, SMS, and voicemail.

Then, I read blogs and articles, write blogs and articles - and then I check my snail mail.

Ummmm... yeah.

So this past week I entered my time capsule and have only answered phone calls, "traditional" email and voicemail ( ok, ok, so I did a few IM sessions as well) - and I found out that I really felt out of touch. Yeah, I know - it surprised me as well!

So I started looking around for some stuff to help me to collapse all these information streams so I don't lose (what's left) of my mind. Now before I get 1,000 comments, tweets, IM's, emails, voice mails, status updates - I know that there are a great number of tools that will help me manage the Twitter feed.

That's not the problem.

I need something that will help unify all the streams and then help me to put them in context. To help me keep track of my customer's outgoing and incoming communications, my friend's outgoing and incoming communications, my colleagues' outgoing and incoming communications. That way, I have a context in which I can interact.

One of the services I use is called Ping.fm - it helps me to update all my various social networks in one fell swoop. I use Twitterfeed for the same thing for the incoming Tweets. I use RSS readers for blog updates. I use FriendFeed to try to aggregate the social stuff.

The killer app of the future is NOT going to be another way to stream your thoughts or your content. The killer app of the future is one that will coordinate and help you manage all the stuff you're consuming and creating - by author, by group, by relationship type, by content type, by time frame. It will allow you to set a preferred communication channel for each of these contacts and then when you blast your own content - it will reach out and communicate to the masses - but also in a personalized way to the selected contacts you've indicated in the way(s) those contacts prefers to be contacted in.

The future is LESS, not more. Less programs to manage stream of outgoing and incoming communications, less time spent sifting through 12 different types of communications, less hassles in knowing how to communicate effectively with those you need to communicate with.

Yeah, I've seen the future - and less IS more.

The Credit Card Entrepreneur

Conventional wisdom would suggest that and economic depression (we're way beyond recession here, folks) is the worst time to start a business.

I, for one, would strongly disagree. And so would FedEx. And Burger King. And IBM. And about two dozen more "household names" that were all founded during economic downturns. I think that now is a terrific time to start a business (or expand the one you already have).

Why? Well, we're at a unique place in history.

Any "normal" economic downturn forces businesses and people to do one thing that they normally don't do: examine where they are going and stop doing the things that are stupid and waste time and money. They "get back to the basics" and focus on things that are important to them.

For individuals - it too often also means that they've grabbed their seat cushion because the "unlikely event of a water landing" has happened to them in terms of their career. They have to focus on the skills that they have that are not only "marketable" or "hireable" but that will actually add value to whomever will toss them money so they can live.

For businesses (the ones that are not stuck in an ostrich pose with their heads in the ground and asses in the air) - it also represents a prime opportunity for them to examine the same thing - where do they add value to THEIR customers? Do they? If not - then it's time to join the ranks of the deadpooled companies and stop doing whatever it is they're doing.

This renewed focus on adding value, and I would argue, just STOPPING all the "activity" that seems to consume our lives - can gently lead people to view things in different, radical, potentially life-changing ways. In the "downtime" of waiting in the unemployment line or waiting for the Dice.com site to load - there can be moments of clarity that can lead to great things - in terms of monetary success as well as lifestyle adjustments.

In this way - recessions, depressions, wars, and other catastrophic events are the same. They cause people and companies to focus.

But of course focus isn't enough. If you focus long enough, hard enough, and you put yourself in the place of others (either the poor schmoe who's out of work or the poor schmoe who is left to do 8 people's work and not get a raise for the next 3 years) - that's where the intersection of needs, wants, desires, opportunity and desperation collide into "the idea."

But, of course, the "idea" isn't enough in and of itself. There's that whole pesky implementation "thing." That's where the technological advances of the modern age really come into play.

Never before in history have we had the ability to start an international business where we don't have to stock product, don't have to have a shipping department, don't need to buy computers or software, and don't need to hire people to answer phones in order to make money selling stuff.

All we need is a credit card and the the unique knowledge that we possess on how to add value to someone, somewhere.

All the other functions of what it would take to start a "real" business can be purchased, rented, and consumed via a single computer, a browser, and Internet access.

The barriers to entry in the "new" business world - the "utility" parts needed to run a business - have already been virtualized (or are getting there). You can rent hardware, software, have companies handle your phones, faxes, shipping, warehousing, product creation, order processing, payment processing, order fulfillment, customer service, technical support, marketing, promotions and advertising.

The thing that hasn't (and can't) be virtualized - is the VALUE that you bring to the table and the RELATIONSHIPS you have with friends, customers, colleagues and fellow business owners. Everyone is in the same boat in these times. Everyone has a certain skill set, business process knowledge and/or a set of experiences that are unique to them.

There's never been a better time to figure out the value you can add - and then come up with a plan on how to share that value with the people that need it. People will pay you for the value you add - even in a down economy.

The key is to get focused... and get started!

Facetweet - Will Facebook Kill Twitter?

Well - as seen on numerous blogs around the world today - it's finally come out that Facebook really DID try to buy Twitter last fall. There had been rumors all over the place that Mark and team was vying to snap up the microblogging site - and roll it into their own offering.

So after the negotiations had come to an unfruitful end (from Facebook's perspective) - they took a play out of the Gates handbook for business 101 - and just decided to build their own microblog format. I say good for them!

Now I don't know Biz Stone, co-founder of Twitter personally, and I don't have any inside information as to what they have in the works - but it just seems to me that if someone like Mark Zuckerberg and team come to you and want to buy your brand (for an "undisclosed sum" - read: HUGE cash) - then unless you have a really, really, really good plan to monetize your platform - you should just sell the damn thing.

I mean, really! So, you invented the space of microblogging. Bully for you! It's still not really caught on to the mainstream yet - and your own site's features are so anemic that a whole industry and dozens of others have stepped into the ecosystem to siphon off users from your site (read: less eyeballs for ads)...

So, you have a super simple site - which is a good thing. You have a medium that lots of tech folks (and PR folks) use as sort of a "live AP" feed - also good.

But... ummm... the idea and the tech behind it are... well... just NOT that hard to re-create. The barrier of entry to create another service just like yours is, well, trivial. Just look at all the Twitter-like, me-too spin offs that have come about.

Yeah, you have first-mover advantage, but the Facebook people have a little think called "150 million registered users." Oh, and a valuation that's backed by the largest software company in the world - Microsoft. Oh, and some really, really smart people.... AND... a really robust infrastructure.... AND... did I mention 150 million registered users?

I think it's a good thing that Facebook will put in a microblogging feature - I think that people will use it and that it will really be a welcomed addition to their service. In a way - it's already there. You can see the status updates of your friends, get a "live feed" of what others are doing... so it just makes sense that if you could "broadcast" your status to anyone... you're done.

So - Twitter - unless you're going to announce something (and soon) - I'm afraid you'll be relegated to the MySpace bid of "cool idea, first-mover advantage" slow death. The difference is - you didn't sell out for $850 (while the getting was good).

I hope I'm wrong. Maybe all the people who are addicted to Twitter will continue to tweet forever. I'm sure that people who have used the service for a long time will continue to use it. However, all the "new" people who are just discovering social media (both individuals and businesses) - they WILL sign up for Facebook.

And when they do - they will have a new option to "broadcast" their stuff to anyone on the Internet - as well as to "subscribe" to other feeds. All in the CONTEXT of their friends, customers and other relationships.

OR - they could choose to go to yet another source, start cross posting (or do what I do - and use the EXCELLENT Ping.fm to do it for me) and reading two sets of feeds.

Ummmm... yeah. In-context feeds all in one aggregated place with the largest social network on the planet - or a spartan interface in scrolling format.

My money's on Facebook to win and Twitter to place.

IE Round 2? Has the Giant Awakened?

Ok, ok, so as much as I (and everyone else) bitches about Microsoft - I think they've had another "Ah, the Internet!" moment.

I was reading Mary-Jo Foley's EXCELLENT blog entry on Microsoft's "Cloud OS" (code name: Red Dog) and at the same time read in ComputerWorld about how Microsoft was bringing the (almost) full "power" of SQL Server to the cloud... when all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks: somebody, somewhere, (or everybody everywhere) told Microsoft that they were missing the boat.

And here's the "best" part: they actually listened.

It sort of reminded me of when Bill Gates (rest his Microsoft soul) finally "got" that the browser was the wave of the future. Back in 1995 Bill bought the rights to Spyglass - the raw underbelly HTML rendering engine that powered the then-numero-uno Netscape "browser."

Once he assembled Spyglass into "the collective" and renamed it "Internet Explorer" - he proceeded to write an internal memo - a manifesto, if you wish, about the Internet - wherein he basically said - '...NOW I see it. This 'Internet' thing is going to be huge. Let's buy the biggest player - make up our own crap (screw the "standards") and give it away for free. We'll kill those Netscape ass**les yet!" (well, he DIDN'T SAY THAT - but that's my take on the gist of it)

So, they proceeded to kick the browser market's a**, and eventually forced Netscape out of business (only to be revived in the Mozilla project and Firefox).

Get ready for IE round 2.

So, Microsoft is going to port a lot of the functionality of MS SQL Sever into "the cloud." They're coming up with their own OS - Azure (code name: Red Dog), they've got Ray Ozzie and the whole "Mesh" thing going on...

Yeah, the 1.0 version will suck and it will take them 2-3 years to get the 2.7.89.1054 version to where it's actually usable.... but still, I think they've basically "got the plot" on the fact that they can't rely on the Windows OS and Office to fill the company coffers forever.

I'll bet you it's all Bill's idea! He has nothing better to do now - and I mean - how many cocktail receptions can you go to in order GIVE AWAY your children's inheritance? To be fair - Bill Gates didn't get to be the richest man in America so many times by being stupid (or by being "nice").

My personal opinion is that he has daily calls with Steve Ballmer - and Steve has become his puppet master. Meantime, back at the Bat Cave, Bill has been the ultimate puppet master: pulling the heartstrings of charity and overall worldwide "do-gooder" while secretly slipping into his "evil" black spandex "Internet War" suit at night.

He probably has that golden bust that Batman had with the big red button - and he pushes it to open the bookcase where there are pole he slides down into the "Bad Cave" to call his head henchman (Ballmer) to plan how to overtake all the other "losers" in the whole Internet game (Amazon, Google, Zoho, et al).

OR - he really doesn't give a crap. He has enough money to last his lifetime and, as long as the stock stays above... well... ZERO... has nothing to lose... except the thrill of an "evil" opponent and the dream of world domination...

But that's just "crazy talk"....

Retweet: Microsoft vs. GM

As I was trying to think up something witty and poignant for today's entry - I came across an old story from 1997 that pitted Microsoft against the now-up-sh*ts-creek-without-a-paddle - GM.

Back in the heady days of the late 90's the computer industry was bragging about how far the technology had come in comparison to the automotive industry. That spawned a single 3 line joke with a cool punchline:

There's word in business circles that the computer industry likes to measure itself against the Big Three auto-makers. The comparison goes this way: If automotive technology had kept pace with Silicon Valley, motorists could buy a V-32 engine that goes 10,000 m.p.h. or a 30-pound car that gets 1,000 miles to the gallon — either one at a sticker price of less than $ 50. Detroit's response: "OK. But who would want a car that crashes twice a day?"

Ba-dum-bah.

The over time the joke morphed from that simple 3 liner into one that has replaced the "computer industry" with Bill Gates and the "automotive industry" with GM. Somewhere along the way, some unnamed person added some additional observations and it circulated around the (then spanking new) Internet via something called "email."

Over the years it's turned into one of those urban legends that has been repeated so many times that people think it's actually true. Well, it's not - but I think it's especially enlightening given the current circumstances with both GM and the on-going Vista controversy.

Plus, it made me chuckle - and I think we could all use a little more of that these days:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason at all, your car would crash twice a day.
   
   
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
   
   
3. Occasionally, executing a manoeuver such as a left-turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, and you would have to reinstall the engine.
   
   
4. When your car died on the freeway for no reason, you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
   
   
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT', and then added more seats.
   
   
6. Apple would make a car powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five per cent of the roads.
   
   
7. Oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car default' warning light.
   
   
8. New seats would force every-one to have the same size butt.
   
   
9. The airbag would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
   
   
10. Occasionally, for no reason, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed the radio antenna.
    
    
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of road maps from Rand-McNally (a subsidiary of GM), even though they neither need them nor want them. Trying to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50%t or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
    
    
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
    
    
13. You would press the 'start' button to shut off the engine.

Microblog: Gmail Is Only Human

Nothing in the world works 100% of the time. That's a fact of life.

Why is it then when Gmail goes down for two hours - or the Twitter "fail whale" comes up - people go crazy? Hey - people - do YOU ever do anything 100% of the time - every day, all day, every day of the year?

Neither do I.

Why, then do most people just expect all software, hardware and Internet connections to be up 100% of the time? Well, I guess because we're starting to come to see them as utilities like electricity and phone. They're just supposed to "work" all the time.

And, when they don't - we get a little panicked. Do you remember the last time the electricity went out?

It also means that if you have only a single source for your email (or social networks or whatever) - then you're choosing to put all of your eggs in one basket. That means - that WHEN (not IF) your favorite service goes down (and they ALL will at some point) - take a chill.

Pull out some paper and jot down your notes with a "pen" - or save them in a text file so you can immediately flame the company and have your inflammatory blog post all ready to go when the service DOES come back up.

That's what I do...

Demonstrate Value - Or Die

The level of panic in companies is getting almost palpable. They are cutting, cutting, cutting - and a lot of the time not THINKING about the ramifications of those cuts.

Some companies are cutting valuable IT staff, killing business-enabling (and enhancing) projects, and doing other stupid things like cutting benefits, reducing work hours and making the overworked people who are "fortunate" enough to be left behind after massive layoffs the most de-motivated group of people on the planet.

Yes, these are uncertain economic times.
Yes, in many cases, cuts do have to be made.
Yes, not every single project should be continued (or even started in the first place).
Yes, dead wood needs to be trimmed.
Yes, business does need to keep a careful eye on expenses and especially cash flow.

If you find yourself one of these "fortunate" few who survived (so far) - then here's a little tip to help ensure you make the next round of cuts: help your company to measure the contribution of your role/project/salary in terms of cash flow, tangible benefits and consequences if they kill it/fire you/lay you off.

At the end of the day no one knows your project/role like you do. And if you're working on a high-profile project or you're making a decent, livable salary - there's no doubt that you're in the sights for future "cost savings."

The time to act is now.

Step 1: Take a good look at your project/role and make a quick spreadsheet that lists all of the costs in one column and hard-dollar revenues (and when they'll occur) that you/your project influence. If the costs exceed the hard dollar revenue (or hard dollar cost savings) - then it's time to go to Step 2.

If your costs are lower than your hard dollar revenues (or savings) - then jump right to Step 3.

Step 2: Double check your assumptions and figures. If you're still coming up short - then figure out how much it will cost in time, money and resources to make the + side greater than the revenue side. If you're able to pull it out - then go on to Step 3. If you can't - then you should either be getting your resume polished up or make friends with someone whose calculations ARE in the black - and get re-assigned to that project and/or make yourself invaluable to the other person in their role.

Step 3: Share your work. Don't wait for bad news to "hit you" - you should take a proactive approach and share the information you've discovered with your boss (or executive committee or whomever you report to). Talk them through the numbers and show them how your project/role is adding value to the company.

It's not so much about cover your ass - as it is about being perceived as someone who cares about the company and cares enough to take the time to quantify it. I can guarantee you this - if there are 20 people/projects on the potential chopping block and you can cost-justify your project/role - then there will only be 19 projects/people on the chopping block and you will NOT be one of them.

On the other hand - if you can't wait to get out of where ever it is you're working - it might be a good time to keep your numbers to yourself. There might be a possibility for you to work with your current employer on a consulting basis - in which everyone wins.

Your company will reduce taxes, overhead, benefits, and conserve cash flow - while you gain flexibility, a solid project to start with, and an in-depth knowledge of the process and people involved in order to help ensure the project is successful.

Regardless of which way you go in the end - it's still a good practice to cost-justify what you're working on and what value you bring to the company. If you don't do it - chances are good that someone else (usually a bean counter) will - and other decisions will be made that are outside of your influence/control.

Change is inevitable. You can either make it happen - or have it happen to you.

Microblog: MS Accidentally Finds Its Soul

It seems that Microsoft does have a heart after all (or just a really, really, big aversion to bad PR)...

After laying off 1,400 workers - it accidentally overpaid some of them by $4,000 to $5,000. Once HR realized the error - the laid off workers were promptly written an letter that demanded they give the money BACK to Microsoft.

Nice!

In an abrupt about-face, Microsoft has now said that the people can keep the money:

"In the normal course of business, we may underpay or overpay in a bonus situation," said Lisa Brummel, senior vice president of human resources at Microsoft. "If we overpay, we ask that the money be returned. Severance is not unlike that. "But this is a unique time and our normal practice didn't make sense."

Oh yeah, and the fact that 1,000,000 bloggers have been raking Microsoft over the coals every since? I'm sure it had no impact on Microsoft's ethical decision making process - and constant zealous care for the people that make them money....

Now That We Own Some Banks...

This whole bailout "thing" has got me a bit pissed off. Never mind the fact that the presses are working overtime to print money we don't have to give it to companies that have such inept (and greedy) management that they "managed" their companies into the ground and took the economy with it... no, the real thing that gets my goat is the fact that NO ONE seems to know where this money is going.

A perfect example is the $42 BILLION we gave to Bank of America and Citibank. Just handed them the cash - and walked away - "trusting" they would do "the right thing" with the money.

What the ??

We didn't even insist they fire the management. There were "no strings" attached to the money whatsoever. So, now, let me get this straight: we (the taxpayers) have given $42 BILLION to 2 banks... oh and guaranteed another $412 BILLION to cover their losses... and we got squat in return?

For just the $42 BILLION we could have bought ALL the common shares of Bank of America and Citibank about 4 times over. ALL of it.

Instead - we hand over the money - and allow them to keep the same idiots running the place that got them into this mess in the fist place?

Yeah! Great plan!

At the very least we (as taxpayers - and the government as our representatives) should INSIST that the Board of Directors be removed - if not the entire management team. "But... but... but... it will shake things up if we do that - they know how the system works..." - yeah, my ass!

They know how to play the system, cover up losses, hide questionable loans, all for the sake of their stock options and bonus pay. THAT's what they know how to do. There are PLENTY of other very smart, very capable, very responsible, very knowledgeable people in the world that can run those banks.

And just where the hell are they putting all the money? Good question. NO ONE KNOWS. There is ZERO accountability for using OUR (taxpayer) money. They could be buying back stock or stuffing it all in a mattress for all we know.

Since we (unofficially) "own" those banks - it's time they come clean on where the money is going. They should be forced to have 100% transparency on where every dime of that money goes. They should be forced to remove their management and/or boards - and they should be held accountable for their own damn losses.

Now the Obama money-printing-factory wants to print up ANOTHER $75 BILLION to keep people from going into foreclosure. That's a good idea. Make SURE that their debts are 100% forgiven - and let the people keep their homes.

DO NOT just hand banks money and not demand anything in return! Does no one in Washington understand how business actually works?

Oh and by the way - how about MY bailout? Where's MY no-strings-attached money? Screw the banks and the car companies and give every American who PAYS taxes a Visa card with $100,000 on it - and make it good only for 90 days. They can't get cash with it, they can't use it to pay off debts - they have to spend it or lose it.

You want people to spend money to get the economy going - that's the way to do it - NOT giving BILLIONS to huge companies who don't care and who, left to their own devices, will be back with their hands out in another 6 months.